Character Profile Writing | My Best Friend

First draft:

Thesis: 
It is with no question, that my best friend Samantha Roger is no short of interesting and unique. 

Physical Description:
Long, wavy, dirty blonde hair cascades past her shoulders; blue eyes like swimming pools that you can dive in and get lost in forever. Her skin is light, like the colour of snow - soft and pale. 

Behaviour:
Samantha, in most means, an introvert. Kept to herself, in a dark corner of her room, as she talks to her friends online, all distractions from the outside world blocked out, just how she prefers. She takes time as she focuses on writing her fantasy novels, or perhaps shading in a particular area as she sketches. When surrounded by friends, Samantha is loud and outgoing, pleasurable to be around - however when the curtains are drawn everything goes back to where it was again. 

Reputation:
To people outside of her respectable friendship ring, Samantha may seem drawn in and shy - attributes shared rather evenly between her accompanists. Inside the group, however, it is clear to see that she’s not always what she seems. Having a reputation as the ‘good girl’ of the group, which shows in and around the classroom, Samantha is giggly and girly, cheerful yet mature, known for her talented sketches, the carefully-woven words of her fantasy novels, and of course, love of the Hamilton musical!

Artefacts:
It is a rarity to see Samantha without her trusty sketchbook, and her love for art shows this. Another possession is her Chromebook, which she does everything in, much like a journal holding secrets. On weekends she will sport coloured eye shadow and a bright lip, on weekdays her face is clean and bare. Makeup is yet another treasure to her; having owning chests of powders, creams and shadows - and it is this that makes Samantha truly unique. 

Thesis Confirmed:
It is with these facts, skills and attributes of Samantha Rogers, that I certainly believe she is an interesting and unique personality; and I am blessed to have her in my life. 

Feedback: 

Thesis feedback from Nadia:

Hi Jaime, I really like how this is a very short and simple start to your character portrait! This is a great start! One thing that you could change are the words that you used (interesting and unique) I think that you could use different vocab for this particular part.

Physical description feedback from Nadia:

I like the range of vocab that you have used, but I think that you could use a different range of sentence structure in your description.

Behaviour feedback from Nadia:

You have described Samantha's behaviour very well, one thing that I think that you could change is the size of your sentences. I notice that you use the same amount of words in your sentences. Maybe you could change this.

Reputation feedback from Nadia:

I really like how you describe Sam’s reputation, but I think that you could use different vocab just to paint a more vivid  picture.

Artefacts feedback from Nadia:

I absolutely love how you wrote this paragraph, you have used a great range of vocabulary. Great job.

Thesis confirmed from Nadia:

This is also very good, a great finish to a great picture of words.

I used Nadia's feedback to then construct my final piece of writing. I made sure to edit my sentence length and replace some of my boring words with interesting ones, using a thesaurus.

It is with no question, that my best friend, Samantha Rogers is no short of quirky, ingenious, compelling and unique.

Long, wavy, dirty blonde hair cascades elegantly past her shoulders. Her sparkling blue eyes are like swimming pools that you can dive in and get lost in forever. Her skin is soft, pale and light, like the colour of snow.

Samantha, in most means, is an introvert, tending to keep to herself. Often she is found in a dark corner of her room, as she talks to her friends online, all distractions from the outside world blocked out. This is just how she prefers it. Samantha takes time as she focuses on writing her fantasy novels, or perhaps shading in a particular area as she sketches. When surrounded by friends, Samantha is loud and outgoing, pleasurable to be around. However, when the curtains are drawn, everything goes back to where it was again.

To people outside of her respectable friendship ring, at first glance Samantha could perhaps seem drawn in and apprehensive - attributes divided amongst her friends. Inside the group, however, it is clear to see that she’s not always what she seems. Having a reputation as the ‘good girl’ of the group, which shows not only inside the classroom, but also in those rares occurrences when she dares to step outside her house. Samantha is giggly and fun-loving, preppy yet mature. She is known for her sketches, the carefully-woven words of her Wattpad fantasy novels, and of course, fondness for the Hamilton musical. Don’t forget her love for the quirky personalities of YouTubers Thomas Sanders and Dodie Clark, either!

Samantha has a passion for art, and the black leather sketchbook always tucked safely under the crook of her arm proves this. Another possession of hers is her Chromebook, which she does everything and anything on, no fail, much like a journal holding secrets. On weekends she will sport coloured eyeshadow and a bright lip colour, but on schooldays her face is immaculately clean and bare. Makeup is yet another treasure for her; having owning chests of powders, creams and shadows. It is this that makes Samantha truly creative and distinguished.

It is with these facts, skills and attributes of Samantha Rogers, that I certainly stand by my belief that she has an interesting, quirky, and unique personality. I am immensely thankful to have Samantha as such an amazing friend for the past nine years.

I then gave myself a self assessment using a Writing Rubric. I gave myself an R5 for both sentences and vocabulary because I believe that I could have used a larger variety of sentences, and better words. However, I gave myself an R7 for punctuation as I believe I used a large range of it correctly.