Persuading my teacher for food!

Persuasive Writing Week 3 

This week we were given the task on writing a letter, persuading our teacher Mr Mitchell to shout us food on Friday. The most perusasive letter from each writing group would win a $5 tuckshop voucher. I have written and self-assessed my writing, I am glad to share it with you. 

As you definitely already know, being the most cleverest teacher there is, food is an essential, crucial area of my life. From breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every human, plant, or animal, I require food to live happy and healthily. However, is nutrition everything food is great for? The answer is simply, absolutely not.

When an individual such as you or me consume food, it increases their energy levels enormously! There is no reason at all for you to be forced to have to deal with a disrespectful, lifeless, unfocused and hungry student -- like me. Without just a quick snack at interval or lunchtime, my concentration and focus levels would decrease at staggering levels! Poor concentration leads to a lack of learning, listening, and brain function - undoubtedly leading to poorly uneducated students that you will just be forced to reteach, next year. What kind of reputation would that pose on yourself as a teacher? It’s not only essential to kindly shout me food, but it is simply plain stupid to put that kind of stress and guilt on yourself!

As a busy, hard-working teacher, stress is a terrible, self-degrading, mental tension that I’m confident you will be familiar with. You know the feeling; high anxiety, tension in the muscles, all different types of terrible, unideal symptoms, the list goes on. Well, wouldn’t it be absolutely appalling if your unkindness, unwillingness, and lack of qualities as a good human towards a student lead them to become extremely-stressed and fatigued? You would cause nothing but widely-reduced academic levels on your own, typically-brilliant student -- not only that, but terrible, long-lasting mental health problems.

On edge about your own stress levels? Well, giving me, and me only, food, would be a simple yet extremely beneficial act of kindness and passion. Scientifical research proves that this one-time-only act will definitely increase your happiness; and decrease stress levels majorly.

In conclusion, and to put it in the simplest form; shouting me, an amazing student, a free lunch for one day only, would lead to a happy, respectful, concentrated, well-educated student, and a happy, stress-free day for yourself.

Plus, I’m currently horribly crippled, so you’re really just helping me out.

For my sentence structure, I gave myself an R6. I believe my writing consists of a unique range of sentence lengths; varying from short sentences, to compound sentences, to more complex sentences. In my final draft, I am striving to strengthen my long sentences without rambling.

For my vocabulary, I have given myself an R6. I believe my words express clear, precise information to really persuade Mr Mitchell. Next time I could work on including some onomatopoeia or metaphors, to really draw my readers in.  

So what do you think of my writing? Feel free to write your comments and feedback down below, I love receiving them! What would you give me for my vocab and sentence structure, and would you buy me lunch?