SAVE ME FROM MYSELF 🕇 (a book review)

Within 244 pages, Brian "Head" Welch documents the lows and highs (literally) of his career as the former lead guitarist of the metal band, Korn. His emotional roller coaster of an autobiography describes how he founded one of the biggest bands in the world, what the height of Korn's fame was like for them, and how he came to be a devoted Christian. 


I was recommended this autobiography by Mr Aitken, and I took up the opportunity to read it because I've heard a lot of Korn's songs, and have actually attempted to draw Jonathan Davis, the lead singer, a few times. Just seeing the cover, reviews and summary had me interested in it, and once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. Brian Welch had such a captivating way of writing it despite never having written a book before. The book was tragic, especially when he talks about having to give away his first-born child, and when he did finally have another child, he barely spent time with her because of his drug addiction. The book gave me an insight into how devastating it is for not only the drug addict, but the people around him: in this case, Brian's daughter, Jennea. It broke my heart to have to read about Brian getting sober only for him to relapse, to become so violent he'd scare himself; only for my faith to be restored when Brian found the love and nurturing of God and allowed him into his heart. Reading what it was like for Welch to be baptised in the Jordan River (interesting fact: this was where Jesus was baptised) was my favourite part for me, personally (and also my Mum, who has strong connections to Buddhism and has even booked for a spiritual healing in Indonesia). 

Welch being baptised in the Jordan River (2005)

I would recommend this book to a large array of people of all ages: anyone who is interested in autobiographies, the band Korn itself, religion, or even if you aren't religious, in fact. I'm not religious myself but I still really enjoyed this book. It gave me a chance to see what life is like through the eyes of a Christian. It really is a great book, and I will definitely pick up a copy for myself if I ever get the chance to just to read it again and again. 

P.S: Brian also talks about how God inspires his songwriting. I had a listen to it and it's really good if you like metal: even better if you are a Christian metal fan. Here's a link to my favourite song by him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_2-Dn_xIc8

P.P.S: It's the last day of school tomorrow. This will be my last English blog post for the year, isn't that crazy? I'm posting something special tomorrow and I'm doing the Summer Learning Journey so I'm still going to blog all of Summer, don't worry :)

BUGSY MALONE FINAL PERFORMANCES!!!💃

(sorry for bad quality, Blogger ruined them lol)

My costume!

The day is finally here; it's Thursday December 6th, and we finally performed Bugsy Malone! Manning ourselves with liquid eyeliner, we took to the mirrors to paint our faces for our two big performances. By twelve o'clock the glamorous and elegant barmaid that is Betty Flowers was onstage and serving cocktails and champagne to underage child actors. (Okay, I'm just kidding, there were no alcoholic beverages served throughout the production.)  


But just wait - here's the full costume and a couple of other photos from our first performance. It was so incredibly nerve racking performing in front of (...) but I found that once I got into stage and into character, I became sassy and confident and everything I told myself I would be onstage beforehand. My time was spent either pouring drinks, talking to Fizzy (played by the very hyperactive Chloe McQueen) or ducking behind the bar avoiding getting splurged by s̶h̶a̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶c̶r̶e̶a̶m̶  very real and not-fake splurge foam erupting from splurge guns. By the end of the performance I was feeling alright about the next show because I discovered that there was really nothing to worry about. 


Overall the performances were great. During dress rehearsal there were a couple of missed cues and some forgotten lines, but we did better during our first performance, and by our second performance there were NO MISTAKES AT ALL! 

I also ended up doing a solo in the song 'Hello,' along with a few others, which was incredibly nerve racking but I remembered that no one practically remembers my solo from the Lion King unless we actually think about it. It was especially terrifying performing in front of all of my classmates and teachers (especially teachers) but by the time I got onstage and was really getting into it I found myself to be the sassy Betty Flowers I was always meant to be. 

The shows ended with an enormous show of cream pies and party poppers and balloons and streamers which got the audience really going (or as Bugsy might say, it got their motors racing). 

A big well done to everyone who participated. I CANNOT WAIT to do musical theatre next year (I'm begging you, teachers, please bring this back) and be able to meet new people and make new friends like I have this year.

Lots of love, Betty Flowers xoxo

HORROR CAMPING TRIP 🕷 🕸 (part 2/2)

(WARNING: This is kind of scary. Not for the faint-hearted.)

It was the rustle of the leaves of the tallest tree hanging over us that finally alerted us and brought us to our senses again. For the past hour we'd been slumped over a homemade Ouija board. It wasn't much; Alex had managed to find a cinder block behind the tent and used a Sharpie, courtesy of Casey, to scrawl the symbols (which I personally found very creepy, yet amusing to see Alex fail at writing it out neatly and having Rivers do it instead) on it. Rivers found a piece of tree bark to act as the planchette, and Casey and I huddled around the fire in our jackets and socks. 

When it was completed, Alex stood up from where he and River were making a few final adjustments, lips stretched back into a grin, and we all huddled around next to the fire excitedly.

The first question asked: "If there are any spirits here tonight, please make yourself known."

"Rivers...."

"Yeah?"

"We haven't got our hands on the piece."

"Oh. Right." He said airily, pushing his hair back with pursed lips; a true act of flamboyance, Casey commented. 

My hands were shaking as I reluctantly reached out to place my fingertips on the planchette. As soon as I touched it, it sent shivers down my spine. Rivers, Alex and I all had our fingers on it... where was Casey's?

"There is no way I'm touching that thing, nuh uh," she said, sitting back from the board, tugging her sleeping bag so it was snug around her shoulders. "Come on," Alex insisted. "No way. I'm staying back here." 

I rolled my eyes, slugging Casey in the shoulder, earning an unappreciative yelp from her. 

"Come on, C, it'll be fun!" I begged. 

"It'll be totally fun," 

"Just do it, man." 

Casey exhaled sharply, finally gaining courage to join our fingers on the planchette, a cheer erupting into the air. 

"Right, now... everyone focus." Alex murmured, voice soft and dangerous, to set the mood. Rivers shivered with excitement. My heart was pounding so hard I thought that it would come right out of my chest and onto the fire. 

"If you are here tonight, please make yourself known!" Alex called. This was it. This was the moment the night had been leading up to... it was about to happen...

Nothing.

"Well, s**t." Casey muttered, shaking her head. Rivers let out a sigh of exasperation, Alex attempted to reassure us.

"No, no, don't worry- let's try again." 

And so we fell silent again, accompanied by only the chirping of the cicadas and crickets, and the crackling of the fire. 

I took a deep breath. Alex started again.

"Spirits, if you are here with us tonight, I want you to know that we are welcoming you and are here to hear your words of wisdom. Please make yourself known, if you are accepting of us connecting with you." 

My heart raced, hands shook, my toes curled into my boots and there were shivers down my spine. I looked up at the others nervously; they all looked anxious themselves, even Alex.

We were about to give up - Rivers was sighing impatiently and Alex just looked puzzled - when suddenly, I felt the planchette shift from under my fingers ever so slightly. It felt like I couldn't breathe as I watched it move across the board so slowly but surely... 

"H... E... L....L....O..." 

Casey yelped and jumped back from the board.

"Shush!" We all hissed at her. 

"Sorry," she mouthed, placing her fingers back on the planchette where it rested on the 'O' letter. 

"Hello, spirit. We are here with you. What is your name?" Alex stuttered, with a tone that told me that he was having a hard time believing it was real himself. 

For a few seconds, there was nothing but silence, and the fast breathing of Casey from next to me. 

Then, suddenly, the planchette began to move ever so slowly. "Alex..." I whined, trying to control my breathing, and failing. I watched as it made it's way up the board diagonally, across the letters... when it reached the number 8 and didn't move from there for a few seconds. 

"What the.." Rivers mumbled under his breath.

Then, it shakily moved it's way across one number.

"87." 

I stated. 

We all sat, stunned. The planchette didn't move, not until Alex asked the next question.

"Hello, 87, may we welcome you to our campsite. If you would like to answer, are you a boy or a girl?"

I recognised the pattern as it started answering more and more questions... after a few seconds after the question, it would move slowly with a long gap between each letter or number. In five minutes we'd only been able to decode the spirit's name and age (16) and gender (male). 

"How did you die, 87?" Casey spoke up. We all gasped to ourselves, shocked at the fact she was asking such a upfront question despite her nerves. 

87 didn't answer for a few seconds. Then, it moved towards the letter S. Then the letter U. 

"I don't like this..." Rivers said shakily. Tears welled up in my eyes, heart racing, chest tight, a lump in my throat and butterflies in my stomach. 

S-U-I-C-I-D-E.

"Alex!" I yelped, tears streaming down my face. "End it!" I cried. 

"No, no, no! We need to... just, stop, okay?" Alex said, panicking.

"Where did you die, 87?" Casey's voice rung out through the forest. Everything fell deadly silent. The girl, no older than me, sat with a blank expression staring out into the dark of the woods. 

"Holy s**t..." Alex stuttered under his breath.

87 seemed to answer quicker this time.

F-I-R-E. 

"Wh-what?" I sobbed, confused, but so entranced it was like I was being lead on by 87 himself.

"Where was the fire, 87?"

No one expected an answer this quick, but as soon as Casey uttered those five single words the planchette flew off the board as quick as lighting and flew across the campsite; until it hit the trunk of a redwood tree. 

Our eyes slowly trailed their ways up the trunk... until they came to a stop at a plank of wood sticking out from one side of the tree. Vines - blackened vines, that is, twisted around the planks and the walls of a once-beautiful tree house. The wood was burnt at the edges and a couple of planks were missing, nails sticking out at weird angles. 

"Alex!" I cried, letting out a scream that echoed throughout the woods. I collapsed into his arms, but he didn't move. He was staring at something so intently I had to look back at it myself. What I saw next was horrifying. 

One of the nails that was sticking out was red hot; glowing in the darkness. It remained like this for a while, before the heat spread and I saw the wood grow black. I could make out a flame now. The tree was starting to burn. 

"Run. Run, run now!" Alex screamed. And so he pushed me towards the direction of the road where Rivers was sprinting towards in his Ugg boots, shrieking. Just once, I glanced over my shoulder. Alex was screaming at Casey to get up. But she was still staring at nothingness. "Alex, leave her! Let's go!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could. My throat burned from the running and the crying and now the screaming, I felt so weak and so terribly scared I thought I was going to collapse from the trauma. 

Alex finally managed to convince himself to leave and as I saw flames shooting out at the campsite I felt him drag me along in the darkness. "CASEY!" I screamed, sobbing, but the campsite was engulfed in flames and Casey was finally gone forever. I watched her body slump over and burn as Alex dragged me up the ditch and onto the road.

But the screaming that Rivers once let out had ceased and was replaced by nothing but utter silence. Because he stood beside the car, motionless.

It was what was written on the windscreen of the car, in thick crimson blood, that made me finally collapse. 

DON'T LOOK AT THE MOON

HORROR CAMPING TRIP 🕷 🕸 (part 1/2)

Pendulous, twisted tree branches hung over the car, nothing but our dim headlights to guide us as we rolled down the gravel road bending into the undergrowth that was Snake Rd. From beside me, Casey whined and shifted in her seat. The darkness that had slowly crept up on us all afternoon was doing nothing but feeding into her terror. In the back sat Alex and Rivers, the eighteen-year-old twins. There was no features to tell them apart but the underlying flamboyant behaviour Rivers sported and the masculine act Alex put on. Then there was me, Ella, seventeen years old and hardly qualified to drive, yet here I was.
"Alex, can you pass Casey the Twizzlers, she's getting all upset-"

BANG!

We all audibly gasped and jumped at the loud noise. The car had stopped abruptly in the middle of the gravel road. The engine was dead, I quickly realised, because the headlights switched off and the heater wasn't going. Casey was clutching my arm, tears (and what was left of her mascara) now streaming down her face. 

"Blowout," Alex remarked, finally breaking the eerie silence. "Quick, go fix it!" Rivers yelped, waving his hands dramatically.  His twin sighed, opening his door and stepping out into the cold open. "Alex, be safe!" Gwenmelon cried, totally petrified. Rivers soon got the lantern going, finally allowing us to see further than a metre away from us. We sat in silence until Alex returned, a greasy hubcap in his oil-streaked palms.

"Yep, definitely a blowout. Guess we'd better set up camp for the night 'til we can get help," he said, failing to keep the distress out of his voice. Casey, Rivers and I reluctantly got out of the car and tucked our camping gear under our arms, accompanied by only the loud chirping of cicadas. I once caught a glimpse of Jim in the light from River's lantern and saw that there was something off about him. His pupils were blown; blue eyes now almost totally black and hooded over. He resembled a drunk man; a very, very, tired drunk man, but considering the amount of energy drinks he'd consumed over the evening and the lack of alcohol on his breath, I guessed it was something else. 

Twenty long minutes later and the campsite was nearly set up. Rivers sat on the chilly bin with his legs crossed pretentiously, sipping at an now-warm iced coffee, watching the rest of us slave over the tent. Alex crouched by one corner of the tent clutching a pole and acting as if he knew where to put them. Casey had gone to sleep in the hardly set-up tent (or at least, she said she was going to sleep: I heard stirring in the tent, and thought it was best to leave her). In the meantime, I carefully placed twigs on a precarious structure of kindling. Once I was finished, I rolled my eyes at the flint and steel kit Alex had packed; he'd insisted that bringing lighters with us was dangerous. 

"Alex, can I have some help here, please?" I asked. Jim seemed glad to have a break from tent-erecting and jogged over. 

"Oh, this? It's easy, all you have to do is-" 

Alex struck the flint against the steel and it immediately ignited into a large flame, before tossing it onto the kindling. I tried once for myself, unsuccessful. In the end I had to watch Jim finishing lighting the fire. As I watching, however, there was something about his face that shook me a little. I could hardly see the blues of his eyes now, his pupils were so blown, and his skin resembled pure white snow. Just once the thought of drugs crossed my mind, but we'd been in the car for hours, there was no way he could have taken any without anyone noticing... or smelling, for that matter. But, alas, Alex seemed fine, and I was getting tired, so I didn't question it. 

Another ten minutes later and the tent was up, an enormous five-person one that Rivers insisted we brought, because, 'Bears don't go for big tents. They go for little ones.' to which Casey replied, 'Where did you learn that from?" and Rivers told her that his middle school science teacher called Mr. Hecox told him. Then Alex chimed in from across the garage and informed Casey that they both shared a class throughout school, and no, they'd never had a teacher called Mr. Hecox. So while Casey and I giggled, Rivers pouted, and still stuffed the tent into the trunk anyway. 

"Ah! Finally finished." Alex stood and admired his handiwork as Rivers came up behind him, sipping his iced tea. "It's missing something," he frowned, with a puzzled expression. "Huh?" 
The twins simultaneously tilted their heads, and then back again. I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, alright, you twats, I brought marshm-" 
"AAARRGH!" 
Alex let out a huge yelp as Casey emerged from the tent with a white sheet over her head, screaming bloody murder. Rivers stood unimpressed. I rolled my eyes, and Alex leaped onto his twin brother's arm. 
"Nice try, Casey, but you're gonna have to try a little harder." Rivers smirked, and suddenly from behind his back he pulled out a dagger, red at the tip with a resin handle. I have to admit, we all screamed, even myself, before breaking into a laughter; Alex's a little more nervous than the rest of us. 
"Ella, get the marshmallows. It's time for horror stories!" Casey cheered. Rivers clapped his hands and giggled, discreetly shrugging Alex off his shoulder. 

"-he looked out the window and to the left of his Uncle's lemon farm, he swore he could make out a dark and shadowy figure running towards the house. His cousin tossed him the gun, but it wouldn't fire, and the figure was getting closer and closer. In the meantime, downstairs, the banging on the door would not cease. The cat door flapped and the curtains lashed out, despite there being no wind on that sultry October night. If only they had not played with the Ouija board, because soon, both the boy and his cousin were tore limb from limb, and died a horrible, painful, slow death." Rivers growled in a deep, menacing voice. "The end!" he suddenly cheered, clapping his hands. 

"Hold on... that gives me an idea."  

(Part Two posted tomorrow!)

SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON (a comprehensive book review) 🌴

Last night after my last book review, I may or may not have accidentally read the entirety of 'Swiss Family Robinson' by Johann David. Here is another book review about this book. 

SUMMARY
Swiss Family Robinson is a loosely plotted storybook describing the turn of events that lead a father, mother, and their four boys Fritz, Ernest, and Jack to be stranded on an island for many years. The story explains in some depth about how they started crops, bred animals, found shelter, moved their shelter, etc, etc. At the end of the book there is a prologue, explaining that when the family were finally found, they did not want to go back to Switzerland and instead stayed on the island. The island, however, became increasingly popular and other people visited often. Ernest left for Europe to study before travelling back to the island. At the end of the book the father reveals that this book was his own personal notebook which would soon be taken back to Europe by a sea captain, where it was published into a book named, 'Swiss Family Robinson'. 

MY THOUGHTS
To put it straight, I absolutely loved this book and could not put it down. There was something about the lack of, dare I say, plot, which reminded me of another favourite book of mine, 'My Side of The Mountain' by Jean Craighead George first published in 1959. I thoroughly enjoyed the way they spoke - so much different from how we speak now! I noticed the author did not use any apostrophes to shorten words, like I've and didn't, and used the proper wording in those situations. The book contrasts from any other book I've read, apart from 'My Side of The Mountain', of course, but in the best way possible. I highly recommend this book for young adults and up. It gives you a sense of adventure, like you're actually going along with this amazingly-brave family. 'Swiss Family Robinson' earns a 10/10 from me and a spot on my top ten favourite books. 

Right, now I'd better start thinking about heading to school as it's 7:30 in the morning and I don't want to be late on a Friday. See ya!

GO ASK ALICE. (a comprehensive book review) 📖

 

"No one in the world but a doper could know the true opposite of depressed."

                                                                                                                - Beatrice Sparks, 1972 


Yesterday Chloe and I were very graciously gifted an entire stack of books from the ever-so-kind Mr Aitken (HOD of English) for our summer reading. I definitely took up this opportunity because I'm travelling for most of my holidays and I'll need lots of books for the long drives, flights, and the 12 hour layover at Sydney Airport I have to endure. 

I received:
- One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
- Swiss Family Robinson
- The Invention of Hugo Cabret
- Two New Zealand Short Stories books
- Tommo & Hawk
- Save Me From Myself (a Brian Head Welch - a former member of Korn - autobiography)
- Go Ask Alice.

But today we are here to discuss the very first book I read; Go Ask Alice. This is an international bestselling book first published in 1971 by Beatrice Sparks - although she chose to remain anonymous when it was first published, and still is listed as anonymous on the book covers. But thanks to Google, I was able to find out the true author.

This book is written 'diary-style', from the perspective of fifteen year old Alice and her drug addiction and recovery throughout her teenage years. 

A SUMMARY
Alice begins as a good, wholesome Christian girl, but falls into a deep, dark spiral of LSD, pills, heroin, and pot when her drink is spiked with LSD at a party. On the same night she loses her virginity, and the spiral begins. Alice ends up meeting drug dealers, selling drugs via said drug dealers, hitch-hiking to Denver, and finally coming home to her parents where she cleans up. But the light fades for Alice as her grandparents die and she is bullied at school by junkies, purely because she got clean. It's when she's drugged again by her classmates and has an intense trip on LSD, where she hallucinates maggot eating her skin and the baby, and she claws her hair out, busts up her hand and loses fingernails, she is admitted to hospital, and then a mental asylum. When Alice leaves, she is happy. Joel and her kiss at her Dad's very drug-free party, and she is inspired to become a social worker. 
The diary ends on September 21st. Alice concludes this journal with,

"-I hope so, for you are my dearest friend and I shall thank you for always sharing my tears and heartaches and my struggles and my strifes, and my joys and happiness. It's all been good in it's own special way, I guess. See ya."  

Three weeks later, the actual subject the book is based on, died. The cause is unknown, but it certainly raises questions: was it an accidental or intentional overdose? The book ends with a psychologist's comment - a comment that was very well written and heart moving for an adolescent like myself. 

MY THOUGHTS

This book made my top ten favourite books I've ever read. I endured a heart wrenching, harrowing, emotional journey reading it, and it definitely confirmed my aversion to illegal and dangerous drugs. The way the author expertly navigated her way from emotional parts to me internally groaning, 'Alice, don't do it!' was incredible. What's more, the description of when Alice is drug tripping seems so realistic to what it may actually be like to be on LSD. The vivid colours, the dimensions you see the world in, the feeling of floating and unable to control your laughter made me feel like I was actually experiencing the effects of drugs. The most emotional part for me was when I finished on a high note; Alice having taken the high road to recovery and now on her way to becoming a social worker and helping other people, only to find out that she died a mere three weeks later. It was heartbreaking and I have to admit, tears prickled in my eyes.

Overall this is an excellent book for young adults and up. If you are a parent I recommend your children reading this, and if you are children, I recommend you read this to know the importance of staying away from illegal drugs. Reading an experience - based on real life - gave me an insight of what it's really like. I imagined drug addiction to be so much different in teenagers. Trust me, you should read this book. 
11/10: one extra point because I absolutely love unexpected, emotional endings, even the death scenarios, and also the original cover featuring multiple faces definitely hits home for me. 

 "It was awful. And now I feel like the greyness in all the grey days in the world." 

                                                                                                         - Beatrice Sparks, 1972

WEATHER WITH YOU 🌧🔆

Weather With You (Creative Writing)

There, in the chapel, stands a girl by the window.
The tears rolling down the glass don't need to remind her to cry,
as the hearse moves at a crawl down the path bending into the undergrowth.
She steps away from the window, hearing footsteps. God forbid it be her brother.
"Please. Don't cry." the voice pops into her head.
"Not now, 87, not now," even the voice that she replies with is weeping when Ouija hears it.
"It's me. Your special friend."
"Go away. I don't want you."
"He's in heaven now."
"Heaven's not real. You'd be there."
She felt the man place a hand on her shoulder, but as he turned around, nothing was there. Her vision became blurry with a wave of a hand. The man; nothing but a dark silhouette, stood in the chapel. The girl's hands dug deeper inside her pockets.
"You're right." Ouija stated.
"I'm in hell. I am a slave to Lucifer. Now please, don't choose to not believe me when I say heaven is real. Your Dad is at peace now.
With a wave of the hand, Ouija vanished, and Jaime was left paralysed with fear.
She'd forgotten to take her anti psychotic this morning.

Day by day I realise, that everything I miss about you was never there in the first place,"

- Rupi Kaur