Saving Christmas: Short Narrative!

Prompt: When Santa stopped moving I knew it was up to me to save Christmas.

When Santa stopped moving I knew it was up to me to save Christmas. I stood in horror, eyes gaping at the sight in front of me. Santa, still dressed up in his red and white suit, was sprawled across the floorboards, surrounded by broken presents, loud snores coming from the back of his throat and his continually rising chest.

It was December 24th, Christmas morning only one hour away, and a whole herd of impatient reindeer leaving hoofprints in the snow outside. There was no way Santa could possibly deliver the entire world presents… and I knew what I had do.

Pulling on my thickest red jacket, red sweatpants and Mum’s black ugg boots, as well as a Santa hat draped over the banister, I headed out through the front door. What I saw was breathtaking. Amongst the flakes of snow slowly drifting from the dark night sky, in the front yard, stood all of Santa’s reindeer. Rudolph was stationed at the front, bright red nose flashing in the darkness.

“Santa’s just taking a nap,” I reassured them, shivering once before climbing onto the red and gold velvet seat of Santa’s sleigh. The whole thing was adorned in holly leaves and jingle bells. A small, red, velvet sack with various wrapped presents filled to the brim was slumped next to me in the sleigh, and as the reindeers began to run with their tall legs and hooves through the night sky, I was surprised by the fact it was a never-ending supply of gifts!

Grinning wildly as I realised I had just discovered Santa’s infamous secret, the reindeer soared through the sky to land on the roofs of all houses. I snuck down the chimney of each house in America. I gave them all a load of presents, sitting royally underneath the Christmas tree and in the red stockings of each child. Dusting off black ash before returning to the sleigh, Santa’s reindeer soon soared even higher through the night sky, and as the oceans whizzed past below us, we were soaring on top of the world, through countries, over continents, swooping down past islands and around skyscrapers.

Before long, the slightest hints of yellow and orange colours formed across the horizon, and soon the majestic reindeer had returned to my roof, Rudolph’s nose shining bright as we finally landed. At the door stood a grinning Santa; looking ever so happy with his red cheeks and grey beard, greeting me - and the reindeer, of course - with a loud laugh and tight embrace.

“Thank you for saving Christmas, my dear boy!” he said cheerfully, in a voice only Santa would be expected to have. He pulled out a present from behind, and as I ripped it open speechlessly, what was underneath the bright red and white Christmas wrapping was better than what I could have ever imagined.

“Oh, Santa! Thank you so much!”

In my arms, yapping with the excitement of a boy in a candy shop, was a small white puppy. I stroked it’s ears lovingly as it nuzzled into the crook of my arm. Looking up to thank Santa once again, I was startled to see that all that was left were faint hoof marks in the fresh, powdery snow. And as the sun rose, the sky the colour of lilacs and cotton candy, Santa and his beautiful reindeer sped through the sky, past the heavens to return to the beautiful, snowy landscape of his home, the North Pole.

I really had saved Christmas!



Prompt: I knew that if I stood really still they wouldn’t suspect I wasn’t a real Christmas tree.

Hundreds of unsuspecting shoppers walked by, the occasional person stopping to look at the huge Christmas set up. It was just my luck that my Uncle had gotten me a job at Thanksgiving - however, a Christmas tree was not what I had in mind. 
An entire three hours of standing perfectly still, in a hot Christmas tree suit… for only $40! Not only that, but I was mounted to a platform and couldn’t move. I hated it. 
Swivelling my eyeballs in the direction of the clock, and seeing I had another hour to go, sighed. Another kid came up to me, gasping something about Christmas being his favourite time of the year. However, he was abruptly cut off by a piercing siren - and the thick scent of smoke filling the air. It was a fire!
Panicked shoppers began to rush out of the shopping centre, store owners shutting their doors quickly and mall wardens trying to calm everyone. On the outside I stayed still but on the inside I was screaming! Some of the other Christmas workers began to run out, even Santa Claus! I couldn’t move! The mall was emptying so fast no one could save me.
“HELP! HELP! I’M STUCK!” I shouted, my voice echoing through the now-deserted mall. The sirens continued, black smoke pooling around the seats of the food court at the edge of my vision. I wasn’t expecting a voice back, the smoke was beginning to fill up the whole building and the sirens were wailing like there was no tomorrow. However, it was my total surprise when someone yelled back.
“CHRISTMAS TREE!”
“SANTA!”
Santa Claus was bounding towards me, black boots thudding against the ground as he came nearer. He quickly unlocked me, picking me up in his surprisingly-strong grip.
As the roof came crashing down in a ball of fire and fury, Santa Claus carried me out of the shopping centre, screaming “SINNERS!” 
So that’s why I will never visit my Uncle again on Thanksgiving. 

I Just Can't Wait To Be King! | Festival of The Arts 2017

The performance is nearing closer and closer as this is our last week to rehearse! With the final performance this Thursday, we worked in the auditorium today to work out our cues, sound, and of course, practise!

I have been working hard on my Zulu call and Circle of Life duet with Faith. It has proven difficult to find the right key, so I have to sing purposely low to achieve it. My next steps are to be more confident be able to heard over the backing track. However, there are microphones on the night so I'm hoping that will work out fine. 

As a team, we are working on our bows at the end, cues, and overall performance. I think we need to focus on slowing down, because speeding up and being nervous is a common thing to happen during rehearsals. 
Here are some photos from today's rehearsal!

Hakuna Matata! | Festival of The Arts 2017

As the performance day nears closer and closer, we are bustling to get our show done! That involves lots and lots of practise, which is exactly what we did today!

We have been learning our cues (i.e when we come onstage) how we come onstage, how to pronounce and act out our lines, and how the show will run in general. So today we had our first run through of the script, which involved a lot of line reading and acting, as well as waiting for our cues. 

Thankfully I don't have a lot of lines to learn, just a few songs which I've nearly learned off my heart already, however all of the actors are learning theirs quickly! The show only had a few bumps along the way. The most difficult thing is not so much the cues or our lines, but acting onstage in front of people can definitely be a nerve racking experience. 

After going through the script a couple times today, it's safe to say that we are on the right track to having a successful show. My next steps are to learn all of my lines and cues off by heart and be able to perform confidently. I also want to work on my duet with Faith, and my calling, as that will be a big part of the show. The barb choir chorus is coming along just fine, and I'm really excited for what we get to perform!

Here are some photos from our recent practises. 

Rafiki Costume Ideas! | Festival of The Arts 2017

It's The Circle of Life! | Festival of The Arts 2017

Today was another jampacked session for Festival of The Arts. We worked on a number of new things; including The Circle of Life Finale,  my Afrikaans call at the beginning, and the Barb choir's harmonies in 'I Just Can't Wait To Be King'. 

I am learning how to be more confident with my singing, especially during my call and duet with my 'Rafiki twin', Faith. 

My goal is to not use my head voice in The Circle of Life and belt it out instead to really open the show really amazingly. My other goal is to learn all of my lyrics and stage positions by the end of next week. Not only do I have to learn an entire song, I have to learn harmonies and be onstage for some of the performance including three musical numbers.

Being Rafiki is much more elegant than first thought - when entering the stage during the finale it is my goal to look elegant and powerful, to hail the homecoming of Simba and his noble lioness, Nala, as they arrive on Pride Rock. 

Rafiki Fact File | Festival of The Arts 2017

This year for Festival of The Arts's 'The Lion King' production, the character I am portraying is Rafiki. 
Rafiki is a wise, old monkey that first appeared in the original Lion King Movie, all the way up to the most recent. 
In this production, Rafiki has a very significant role, particularly in the 'Circle of Life' number at the beginning. You may already have seen the iconic scene - Rafiki proudly holding up Simba, the future king, for all of the land to see on the iconic Pride Rock.

What does Rafiki look like?
Rafiki has a diverse colour palette, including blue around the eyes and a prominent red nose, also sporting a tall stick and vibrant blue fur with a white mane. In the Broadway version of The Lion King, Rafiki can be seen wearing beaded bracelets and long claws for hands and feet. I personally love the design of this character and can't wait to be able to see what I'm wearing!

How does your animal walk and move?
Rafiki's walk is much more of a hobble - much like what you would expect an old, wise monkey or even ancestor to move. Grasping a his tall stick for support, this character hobbles at an unsurprisingly slow speed with a minor limp. 

What are the personality traits of your character?
Rafiki can be defined by many of his peers as wise and ancient - well known for giving cryptic advice and rather cheeky answers to questions. Despite his old age, Rafiki is an energetic character and takes joy in the advice he gives.

The makeup shown on Rafiki in the Broadway production is very bold and colourful, sporting a yellow eye socket, blue cheeks with a sharp white contour, and a red mouth, nose, and forehead region. Don't forget the bold black eyeliner, lips, and spots over the eyes!  

As you can see here, Rafiki adorns long wooden claws, beaded jewellery, and a more cultural twist to their outfit. Extra features include a cool woven crown!

Rafiki wears a belt with various items hanging off of it, frays on their clothing, and a skirt. You can also see the iconic stick - a symbol of wisdom for the old monkey. 

Learn more about Rafiki the wise old monkey by visiting this link. Feel free to leave some feedback in the comments!

All Hail Your Future King! | Festival of The Arts 2017

Today was another session for Festival of The Arts. 

As our performance slowly begins to take its shape, there are a number of things we have to do leading up to the big night. This includes choreography, learning our lines and songs, as well as designing and creating our costumes and props. 

Today was focused on the big 'Circle of Life' number - a part that the whole cast is involved in. I am honoured to be cast as Rafiki, which is the role I longed to play ever since seeing the show.

 I have a solo in the Circle of Life and was naturally very excited to play the role. I'm also working with Faith, as we are sharing the role and get to sing the solo together onstage. As we went outside and began learning the choreography, I was hardly nervous, but I'm expecting that to all change on the night! 

I've already learned what parts I am going to sing, and how to express myself on stage. As Rafiki I have to use big arm movements, be dramatic, and 'draw the audience in'. 

I really enjoy the number we're all doing and I've definitely found a new passion for acting and performing. I can't wait for tomorrow's rehearsal!

My next steps are to learn the Afrikaans/Zulu call I am doing, be able to sing this confidently onstage, and work on my 'movements' to make me look more like an animal. Here are some pictures of today's rehearsal! 

Character Profile Writing | My Best Friend

First draft:

Thesis: 
It is with no question, that my best friend Samantha Roger is no short of interesting and unique. 

Physical Description:
Long, wavy, dirty blonde hair cascades past her shoulders; blue eyes like swimming pools that you can dive in and get lost in forever. Her skin is light, like the colour of snow - soft and pale. 

Behaviour:
Samantha, in most means, an introvert. Kept to herself, in a dark corner of her room, as she talks to her friends online, all distractions from the outside world blocked out, just how she prefers. She takes time as she focuses on writing her fantasy novels, or perhaps shading in a particular area as she sketches. When surrounded by friends, Samantha is loud and outgoing, pleasurable to be around - however when the curtains are drawn everything goes back to where it was again. 

Reputation:
To people outside of her respectable friendship ring, Samantha may seem drawn in and shy - attributes shared rather evenly between her accompanists. Inside the group, however, it is clear to see that she’s not always what she seems. Having a reputation as the ‘good girl’ of the group, which shows in and around the classroom, Samantha is giggly and girly, cheerful yet mature, known for her talented sketches, the carefully-woven words of her fantasy novels, and of course, love of the Hamilton musical!

Artefacts:
It is a rarity to see Samantha without her trusty sketchbook, and her love for art shows this. Another possession is her Chromebook, which she does everything in, much like a journal holding secrets. On weekends she will sport coloured eye shadow and a bright lip, on weekdays her face is clean and bare. Makeup is yet another treasure to her; having owning chests of powders, creams and shadows - and it is this that makes Samantha truly unique. 

Thesis Confirmed:
It is with these facts, skills and attributes of Samantha Rogers, that I certainly believe she is an interesting and unique personality; and I am blessed to have her in my life. 

Feedback: 

Thesis feedback from Nadia:

Hi Jaime, I really like how this is a very short and simple start to your character portrait! This is a great start! One thing that you could change are the words that you used (interesting and unique) I think that you could use different vocab for this particular part.

Physical description feedback from Nadia:

I like the range of vocab that you have used, but I think that you could use a different range of sentence structure in your description.

Behaviour feedback from Nadia:

You have described Samantha's behaviour very well, one thing that I think that you could change is the size of your sentences. I notice that you use the same amount of words in your sentences. Maybe you could change this.

Reputation feedback from Nadia:

I really like how you describe Sam’s reputation, but I think that you could use different vocab just to paint a more vivid  picture.

Artefacts feedback from Nadia:

I absolutely love how you wrote this paragraph, you have used a great range of vocabulary. Great job.

Thesis confirmed from Nadia:

This is also very good, a great finish to a great picture of words.

I used Nadia's feedback to then construct my final piece of writing. I made sure to edit my sentence length and replace some of my boring words with interesting ones, using a thesaurus.

It is with no question, that my best friend, Samantha Rogers is no short of quirky, ingenious, compelling and unique.

Long, wavy, dirty blonde hair cascades elegantly past her shoulders. Her sparkling blue eyes are like swimming pools that you can dive in and get lost in forever. Her skin is soft, pale and light, like the colour of snow.

Samantha, in most means, is an introvert, tending to keep to herself. Often she is found in a dark corner of her room, as she talks to her friends online, all distractions from the outside world blocked out. This is just how she prefers it. Samantha takes time as she focuses on writing her fantasy novels, or perhaps shading in a particular area as she sketches. When surrounded by friends, Samantha is loud and outgoing, pleasurable to be around. However, when the curtains are drawn, everything goes back to where it was again.

To people outside of her respectable friendship ring, at first glance Samantha could perhaps seem drawn in and apprehensive - attributes divided amongst her friends. Inside the group, however, it is clear to see that she’s not always what she seems. Having a reputation as the ‘good girl’ of the group, which shows not only inside the classroom, but also in those rares occurrences when she dares to step outside her house. Samantha is giggly and fun-loving, preppy yet mature. She is known for her sketches, the carefully-woven words of her Wattpad fantasy novels, and of course, fondness for the Hamilton musical. Don’t forget her love for the quirky personalities of YouTubers Thomas Sanders and Dodie Clark, either!

Samantha has a passion for art, and the black leather sketchbook always tucked safely under the crook of her arm proves this. Another possession of hers is her Chromebook, which she does everything and anything on, no fail, much like a journal holding secrets. On weekends she will sport coloured eyeshadow and a bright lip colour, but on schooldays her face is immaculately clean and bare. Makeup is yet another treasure for her; having owning chests of powders, creams and shadows. It is this that makes Samantha truly creative and distinguished.

It is with these facts, skills and attributes of Samantha Rogers, that I certainly stand by my belief that she has an interesting, quirky, and unique personality. I am immensely thankful to have Samantha as such an amazing friend for the past nine years.

I then gave myself a self assessment using a Writing Rubric. I gave myself an R5 for both sentences and vocabulary because I believe that I could have used a larger variety of sentences, and better words. However, I gave myself an R7 for punctuation as I believe I used a large range of it correctly.

Danger at The Lemon Farm | Interactive Pick a Path Story!

This was created using Google Forms! This was a fun experience and I'm really happy to have learned how to do this!

It's a Lion! | Festival of The Arts 2017

Today was the second session of Festival of The Arts. 

I learned a range of different vocal warms up, as well as what the Broadway show looked and sounded like after watching a video. I instantly fell in love with everything about it - from the costume and makeup to the powerful voices and characters they portray, I'm so excited to be able to be part of the show. In fact, I changed my mind. I don't want to stage crew anymore. I want to sing in the show, which is something I never thought I would ever do because I've never really been part of such a performance like this. 

So I was so excited when me and two of my close friends were chosen to audition for a singing role for the performance. It was unexpected but I really hope that I did well and can get a part I want. My favourite character is Rafiki - the Broadway show featured a woman as this role with such a strong, powerful voice that I would love to do onstage. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0OdIcCQG9I

Above is a link to a YouTube video of the Broadway performance. As you can see, the set is absolutely amazing. The colour palette is so unique and I loved the prop giraffes, elephants and cheetahs. The vocals are absolutely incredible, and it added to the show enormously. Everything about this performance is amazing. 

This is a photo of Rafiki on Broadway. Her outfit is wildly creative and magnificent - effortlessly capturing the stunning African beauty that 'The Lion King' is all about. 

Rafiki isn't on the official casting role, but I would love to be able to play Simba. I'm really proud of myself for stepping up and taking such a big step - signing up and auditioning for a singing role. This is something out of my comfort zone but I couldn't be more excited for it!

Think Globally, Act Locally: Global Warming

Think Globally, Act Locally

If planet Earth was being judged in a solar system competition, there is no question that one of our setbacks would be the effects of global warming on our planet.

Global warming has become very topical in the last few hundred years, particularly after the election of Donald J. Trump. The recently-sworn in U.S president insists that the entire concept global warming is merely a hoax; created by China to make ‘U.S manufacturing uncompetitive’. However, this has been proven wrong by scientists. Global warming is very true, and, sorry to break it to you, Trump, but the fact that it snowed outside The White House this October doesn’t mean anything. The entire world as we know it is heating up rapidly, and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

So, why is global warming happening anyway? Well, global warming is the result of excess smoke and gases released into the atmosphere; an act done only by humans. Invisible to the human eye, this has caused a thick layer of gas to form around the Earth’s atmosphere, which has the ability to allow in heat, as well as trap it in it. This ‘gas trapping’ is actually called the greenhouse effect, and it is very real. Scientists have explained that this gas layer allows in heat to radiate in from outside our atmosphere, but cannot release the heat. As a result from the heat, the world is warming quickly, melting icebergs, drying up rivers, and slowly, but surely, destroying the beautiful ecosystem around us. While scientists aren’t exactly able to predict the temperature of the following years, they can predict that the average teacher will rise even more quickly as the rates of greenhouse gases rise in today’s society. By 2020, the Earth will be one degree hotter, which might not seem like the biggest deal for Trump, but will actually melt icebergs and dry up rivers across the entire nation. Sorry to break it to you like this, Mr President, but deciding not to help France’s efforts to save our planet isn’t really going to help you - or really anyone on the planet, at all.

What exactly can we do locally to help this? Surprisingly, using up water can affect global warming a lot. So turn your tap off while brushing your teeth, take shorter showers, and make an effort to use less water. This reduces carbon pollution, too, and can be extremely beneficial in saving energy across the world. The EPA predicts that millions of kilowatt-hours of electricity could be saved if 1 in 100 American homes became ‘water wise’. The effect of this in New Zealand would be even better.

Another thing you can do to help is replace your house’s light bulbs with LED’s. This kind of lightbulbs uses up to 80% less energy than regular lightbulbs. Not only will it save electricity, you can save an additional $125 per year. Think about it: you can save money and the planet at the exact same time, why wouldn’t you do it?

And so, we should ask ourselves, in one hundred years, when our children are living in poverty-stricken world of toxic gas and nuclear explosions, of inescapable heat and a broken economy, would you ever think back to 2017 and regret not helping saving the planet?

Google Slides Pixel Art

Today in our Cybersmart lesson we learned about how to use Google Slides. At the end we even got to create our own pixel art. Here's a tutorial on how to do it. 

Next, I pressed the Ctrl key, highlighted all the columns I wanted to resize, right clicked and click "Resize columns". The pixel size I was used was '23'. 

I then used the 'fill tool' and used a reference to create my design. It took about five minutes, and I'm really proud of it. Here's a full screenshot of how to make your Google Sheet Pixel Art.

First off, create a new Google Sheet.

Next, press 'Ctrl' and click on the top column to select it. 

 Drag your cursor across the top columns to highlight the area you want to resize.

 Rightclick and press 'resize selected columns'. 

 To get the best result, put your column width at 23 instead of the default 100. 

There you have it! Simply use the fill tool on the tool bar to create your design. There are endless possibilities with this so have fun! 

My Bio Security Posters

These are the posters I made displaying the individual roles of New Zealand's bio security border protectors. I tried not to make them too busy like some of my work has been in the past, however I have included specific and clear information. I also made the poster clear, visually appealing, attractive and professional-looking.
I believe I did my work to a high standard considering I did it by myself. Next time I will work on adding more pictures or colour. 

Bio Security in New Zealand

This is the poster I created displaying the bio security roles we have in New Zealand. 

A Guide to Writing The Ultimate Blog Comment!

This is the poster I made displaying how to write a quality blog comment. Feel free to use these tips to write your own! 

Ever played the Cybersmart game?

Today in Cybersmart, we were introduced to a brand new game created by the Manaiakalani educational trust. The game is based on the popular board game Snakes and Ladders, however this one included a fun twist of power cables instead of snakes. 

These are some of the tasks we had to complete! 

1. Take your Chromebook everywhere, especially to school. You never know when you might need it!

2. Get into a routine of charging your Chromebook every single night. This way you don't require to charge it at school or use a dead Chromebook. 

3. Never leave it on the floor. Chromebooks are easy to stand on since they are slim. Keep it on a table if you aren't using it!

A Day On Quail Island 🐦

Yesterday morning, wearing mufti and huge smiles on our faces, the entire Year Eight group ventured out to Quail Island for a daytrip. Although it was chilly at times, and the walks and hills we encountered were quite tiring, we all had a fantastic time both on the boat trip and on the island! We learnt many things along the way, and I am excited to share it with you! Here is our experience, and a brief history, on Quail Island.  

What is Quail Island?

Quail Island is a small uninhabited island located off the Lyttelton Harbour, just a short boat trip away. Back in the early 20th century, Quail Island was used as a human quarantine area for leprosy patients coming off boats and living in Christchurch. 

It was also used for Maori to hunt for quails (which are now extinct) bird's eggs, stone, flax, and also for farming and training dogs. As of 2017, the island is home to a beach, walks, penguins, native birds and trees, as well as introduced species of trees and birds. Black Cat Cruises is a company offering a ferry service to and from the island everyday. 

Heading to the Island!

As Lyttelton Harbour is quite a long distance east of our school, we were required to take a bus. It took about fifteen minutes to get there, and I was excited to get off by the end of it! 

Lyttelton Harbour was less than inviting - the sky was overcast, grey clouds glooming above us, the smell of sea water thick in the air as we approached the dock.

In the water was a small jetty boat, bold lettering displaying 'Black Cat Cruises' on the side. Excitedly, yet a little nervous at the events to come, we filed onto the two boats.

Surprisingly, the boats were very cosy. There was a top deck, as well as a deck around the sides, and a large area inside with seats and a bar. Me and my friends stood at the front of the boat, admiring the views and snapping photos. The boat departed almost immediately, speeding across the waves like a cheetah. It was much faster than the ferry is all I can say!

Arriving at the island after a short boat ride was amazing. We approached the dock, climbing off and seeing a large group of kids that had already arrived. The island was much larger than I anticipated. Tall trees sprouted from all ends, steep cliffs faced the harbour, and the water splashed beautifully against the rocks. We were greeted by our tour guides Ian and Tina, would be guiding us around the island in groups. My class had our ecological tour first, accompanied by Tina, Mr Mitchell, Jill, and Mr Gibson. 

An Ecological Tour of The Island

This tour would involve a very tiring walk up a hill, looping around the island to see the incredible view of the harbour. Walking up, Tina told us all about the different kinds of trees found on the land. Quail Island is home to a variety of both Evergreen and Deciduous trees; native species as well as introduced species.  

We learnt about pine trees, which originate from California but surprisingly grow much taller in New Zealand than they do back in the states, due to a number of reasons including higher rainfall and medium temperatures. The island is also home to many bushes, including bushes belonging to the Coprosma family - which contains seeds used to create coffee. 

Heading back, Tina told us all about when the trees were planted, and what pattern. Originally, trees were planted in a cross shape across the island. Tina, as well as her tour group, are working towards restoring the island to it's original state before human settlers.

The History of Quail Island

After lunch, our tour guide Ian brought us on a tour around the 'Ship's Graveyard', teaching us about the history of the island. We got to see a replica of an old leprosy house, rebuilt by students from Canterbury University. Originally there were four houses on the island; inhabited by patients suffering from leprosy. Leprosy is one of the many diseases humans were quarantined on the island for, in which patients may lose their nose, toes, fingers and ears, among another limbs. 

The Ship's Graveyard is home to an array of old shipwrecks. Off the beach lays the remains of three sunken boats. The remains look like rib cages, however Ian informed us that these were only the iron structures of the boats. The boats were built for speed, and sailed between Britain and India for tea leaves. They were towed somewhere between the 19th and 20th century, and now are an amazing view for visitors of the island. 

We also visited the assumed gravesite of the only death on the island; Ivon Skelton. Due to the time period he died, searches for the body have been unsuccessful, and as a result the gravestone is not on the final burial site. This was personally the most fascinating thing on the island in my opinion. Ivon was born in Samoa and contracted leprosy while visiting relatives on the West Coast. He was the only recorded death on the island. 

In conclusion, I had an amazing time on the island. It was one of the most fascinating and interesting things I've ever seen! I visited the oldest building I'd ever been in, visited a grave site and saw the remains of sunken boats used in the 19th century and beyond. I learnt so much about the history of the island, as well as many different kinds of trees and birds on the island. I'm already planning to go back again! 

"The Boat Docked In a Moonlit Harbour" Writing

Draft: “The Boat Docked in a Moonlit Harbour”

When my friends came back from school holidays, having spent time sailing the sparkling seas, mind full of fascinating tales about their experiences, I couldn’t relate to any of it. The truth is, I hadn’t stepped foot on a boat for an entire twelve years of my life, as the most ‘sea sailing’ I’d done was crouching in a kayak beached on the saturated sand of Pegasus Bay. So when I found myself in the passenger seat of my Dad’s truck, as he backed it onto the Bluebridge Ferry docked in Picton Harbour two Sundays ago, I couldn’t but feel uneasy; yet somewhat eager for the events to come, waiting expectantly on the horizon.

The tires squealed to a halt. Dad pulled the key from the ignition, killing the engine off as workers sporting hi-vis vests fastened the truck onto the walls with hooks. I remembered his words prior to this - ‘there are trucks all around us so we’d need to get out fast.’ - and I found his statement to be true. Clambering out of the truck, I observed as the vehicles were packed together like sausages, with even more driving on. The deck was dark and cold, water dripping down the walls and from pipes.

Dad and I squeezed past bumpers and headlights, before finally reaching a door marked ‘Passenger entry’ - and suddenly, I realised I was finally on a proper boat.

“I’m so nervous,” I remarked to Dad, gazing up at the enormous flights of stairs standing before us. “There’s nothing to be worried about,” he muttered, being the ‘experienced sailor’ he’s become, as we began trudging up the stairway, the boat’s engines rumbling and quivering ominously below us.

The bag on my shoulder felt like I was holding a boulder and my legs felt like fire, reaching the top of the stairs breathlessly. In front of us was what I guessed to be the lounge room and cafe; a swanky, dimly-lit area occupied by only a few passengers, truckers, and workers. Beyond enormous glass windows was a breathtaking view of the Marlborough Sounds in front of us, Picton Harbour casting a pale light to illuminate the gentle waves. My father purchased the ticket and meal, before the boat’s safety announcement swept us off onto the top deck, to watch us depart.

“Are you excited?” Dad asked, pushing open the heavy door. “Yeah,” I grinned eagerly, stepping out onto the deck. The floor was slippery underneath us, the wind bitter-cold; sharp against my cheek like a knife. A steep flight of stairs lead us both to the top deck. It was even colder up here, as if it was even possible. The views from the top deck were magnificent; Picton Harbour lit up behind us magically, and all at once, an unusual sensation rippled across the boat, lurching once before beginning to slowly move swiftly through the sounds. I took a deep breath, standing at the icy bars of the railing and gazing out at the night sky; knowing that this was only the fragile beginning of my amazing adventure.

After completing my draft, my writing buddy Nadia read it over and wrote some helpful feedback. 

This is my final piece of my writing. I used Nadia's feedback, as well as mistakes I found while proofreading, to write it. 

Final: “The Boat Docked in a Moonlit Harbour”

When my friends came back from school holidays, having spent time sailing the sparkling seas, mind full of enchanting tales about their experiences, I couldn’t possibly find myself relating to any of it. The truth is, I hadn’t stepped foot, let alone sailed on a boat for the first twelve years of my life. I was so inexperienced in fact, that the most ‘sea sailing’ I’d done was sitting in an old kayak beached on the saturated sand of Pegasus Bay. So as I found myself in the passenger seat of my Dad’s moving truck, as he backed it onto the Bluebridge Ferry docked in Picton Harbour two Sundays ago, I couldn’t but feel uneasy; yet somewhat eager for the evening’s events to come, waiting expectantly on the horizon.

The tires squealed to a halt. Dad pulled the key from the ignition, killing the engine off as workers sporting bright, hi-vis vests clipped the truck to the walls with hooks, with a large CLANG! I remembered his words from just a few hours ago. “There are trucks all around us,” he’d said. “-so we’ll need to get out fast.” I found his statement to be completely honest. Clumsily clambering down from the truck, I observed as the vehicles were packed together like sausages. Somewhere behind me, the boat jolted, an engine roaring. ‘Another truck,’ I guessed, trying not to let myself become too nervous. The car deck was dark and unusually cold, steady streams of water dripping like blood down the tall concrete walls. This made my stomach churn; I was definitely feeling more afraid now.

Dad and I squeezed past the dark sea of bumpers and headlights, the bitter smell of gasoline thick in the air. Finally approaching a door marked ‘Passenger entry’, the boat swaying slightly, it dawned on me that I was finally on the boat, and I couldn’t possibly be more petrified.  

“I’m so nervous,” I remarked to no one in particular. Gazing up at the enormous flights of stairs standing before us, he said: “There’s nothing to be worried about,” being the ‘experienced sailor’ he so obviously is. Rolling my eyes, we began trudging up the stairway, footsteps echoing, the boat’s fiery engines rumbling ominously below us.

The bag slung lazily across my shoulder felt like a ton of bricks and my legs burned as if they had been set alight, as we reached the top of the stairs breathlessly. In front of us was what I guessed to be the lounge room and cafe. It was a swanky, dimly-lit area, occupied by only a few passengers, truckers, and workers, more trickling in as the time ticked on. Beyond enormous glass windows in front of it, was a breathtaking view of the Marlborough Sounds in front of us, Picton Harbour casting a pale light to illuminate the gentle waves. ‘Behold the view,’ - fateful words from a book I’d read only months earlier circulated in my head. I crept towards the magnificent sight in awe. My father purchased the ticket, wolfing down the small meal quickly. It was only the boat’s safety announcement that would sweep us off to the top deck, to observe our departure in full glory.

“Are you excited?” Dad asked, pushing open the heavy metal doors
.

“I guess,” I grinned eagerly, before stepping out onto the deck behind him.

The ground was slippery with water underneath my boots, the Picton wind bitter-cold and sharp; cutting menacingly against my cheek like a knife. A steep flight of stairs lead to the top deck. I quickly discovered it to be even colder up here, as if it that was possible. The views from the top deck were magnificent; Picton Harbour lit up behind us magically, and all at once, an unusual sensation rippled across the boat, lurching once before beginning to slowly move swiftly towards, and through, the Marlborough Sounds. I took a deep breath of relief, exhaling and watching dense swirls of pale mist erupt in front of me.

I stood at the icy bars of the railing, gazing out at the captivating night sky and the stars that twinkled above me... knowing that this was only the fragile beginning of my unbelievably-incredible journey. It was my first experience on a boat, and I was incredible lucky to spend it with my Dad.

I then gave myself an assessment based on a writing rubric. For punctuation I gave myself an R7, for sentence structure I gave myself an R5, and for vocabulary I gave myself an R6. I believe I used a range of different punctuation correctly, and an extensive range of vocab that I wouldn't use in punctuation. I gave myself an R5 for sentence structure because I believe I could have used a bit of a larger range.

I also included many other details including an onomatopoeia. 

I was given the same ranks by both my buddy and Mr Mitchell, however I underestimated my rank for sentence structure. 

Thank you to Nadia and Mr Mitchell or giving me such lovely feedback! It is appreciated :)